The reality of cloudy days

Just like the rain pouring down on my skylight, the tears came this morning, pouring from my eyes. Grief is part and parcel of the human experience, a great sense of loss when our loved ones leave us, and we feel utterly alone without them. And even though my beliefs tell me otherwise, assuring me of their continued love, life and presence all around me, I fall into the deep despair of wanting to be in the same world. Then I realize that truly, grief isn’t sadness for the one who is not here on earth, but sadness for ourselves in having to be here without them. It helps to think of them in a wonderful place full of love, free of any earthly pain or burdens. But still, grief has its constant cycle, a rhythm all its own, that will play out with me until I am reunited with my love.

The Visitor

 

It wasn’t on my calendar

This appointment with grief

So sure I had cancelled it

But grief arrived anyway

Unannounced

It stands at the threshold of my soul

If I ignore it, will it go away?

I’ve tried that

It always stays

I find its patience intolerable

I give in and open the door

Letting it enter my home

It walks inside with muddy shoes

Such a rude guest!

It shows no manners

As it shoves my heart aside

And proceeds to turn me inside out

I am a tolerant hostess

I weep as it sits at my table

I try not to feed it

Hoping it will leave

I must have dozed off

For now my home is peaceful

Grief no longer sits at my table

In its place

Is a vision of myself

Colorful intensity

Now brilliant